There are never ending sagas in this country, not always pleasant but an experience of the real world without the cushion of western supposed normality.
Last night at about 8:00 there was a power cut and I was in dark through to the morning. So no electric, no water, no indoor toilet, it was great! A night light candle in conjunction with a wood burning stove to go to sleep to. I slept very well but woke up at 5:00 never to slumber from thereon well before the alarm went of at the due time of 6:30. Routine of getting ready for work along with sorting out Anka but making sure I was well before the bus was due at the bus stop. Quite pleasant using the outside loo this morning, funny how you get used to things here very quickly, almost sorry to go back to the inside one!
After waiting a good fifteen minutes watching the sky transform into a pink glow expecting the sun to peer through any second the bus arrived. It was the same bus and driver, Sacho’s friend who we had coffee with in Yambol after the trip. It was a case of any friend of Sacho is a friend of mine. He invited, or more like insisted that I sat at the front with him, which I felt quite flattered. Not only that, he charged me 2.50 leva, another new price when I though all was settled at 3 leva, or perhaps it was because he was now a friend of mine.
There were a few brightly coloured gypsy wives, one of which sold me the turkey, running for the bus just as it was to go. They waved for him to let them on, he cursed them and drove off leaving them behind, this is how most people treat gypsies around here. Bad reputations of gypsies are justified as far as I can see to date though, they do not have respect for Bulgarians and the way many live here, so what do you expect!
I was assigned as ‘chief door opener and shutter’ as the door where the other less fortunate passengers went in was from a different sliding door. I did a grand job, which saved him from going right round the bus to do it himself. At least I could earn the 50 stotinki discount he gave me. As we travelled the sun just bubbled above the horizon just like a birth and rose slowly to its full glory some 10 minutes later. This was a wonderfully radiant event in which I was transfixed and totally glorified by it. A great pity Jane missed seeing it with me.
We got to town and did the business with Ethan earning my daily bread, Heather his mother offered for me to use the shower if I wanted to, I might just do that seeing as I haven’t had an opportunity for weeks! In fact I have only had one shower and two baths since living here for one or another reason, quite ridicules to western ideals but I am clean, smell sweet and relatively pristine in terms of presentation. Just shows what you don’t actually need, just want most of the time. I can see why many or most Bulgarians never have a shower throughout the winter and wait for the warm weather and the water filled oil canister to shower on them by gravity fall, warmed by the sun at the end of all the summer houses.
After getting back to Phil’s office to see Heather who wasn’t there, Sue the Australian turned up to get her new ‘tank’ of a car. I popped out to the bank to scrape out the last bits of my saving and put the 6000 leva on the table next to her handbag for her to collect and sat and waited in Phil’s office. I was meant to give her 5900 leva and 500 leva from the scrapping of here car, but I was in a depressed mood and didn’t really care what I was doing, no one seems to have any sympathy for what I have gone through and am going through, but then why should anyone? I’m a depressive pain in the arse to them as far as they are concerned. I am in Bulgaria and it is Bulgarian life I want.
I don’t expect or want anyone to bale me out, but it would be nice and comforting for someone to say, “We’re really sorry about what happened Martin, is there anything we can do?”
And of course I would say, “Thank you very much, but no, I’ll manage.”
This is all I wanted but it didn’t happen and I feel more than bitter about it. Quite frankly I don’t really want to do any more socialising with these people anyway, I only socialised because they wanted me to, not because I wanted to. Sue and Phil came in and Sue put the money in her bag and asked if I had anything left in my Bank account. I said, “Just enough for a flight back to England.”
She said, “You are not serious are you?”
I snapped back by saying, “I’m waiting for Jane to get here. I will wait as long it takes for her because I love her so much.”
To that, they both didn’t say and comment any further and just went on to do other things. I asked, "What should I do about the hire car as Sue picking her new car up today?"
The answer was, “Do you want to come with me, it should take about 2 hours to sort out.”
Bugger that I thought, I’m not following her around like an idiot as is what usually happens, I’ll do my own thing and the mobile will be used if things are ready.
The morning just got worse, Sue went to get the car and I was left like a bloody lemon waiting over four hours with nowhere to go or nothing to do but wait for other people.
Over and hour was spent in an internet café sending stuff to Jane, my daughter Hannah and Nathan, the cup of coffee was good though. Then out on the streets for another two hours watching life go by in Yambol on a warm sunny afternoon, people eating, drinking and of course talking mostly, outside in the heat.
I finally got the car I hired to Sue at about 2:45! I was bloody livid, is that all anyone thinks I do, wait for others? That’s it, no more Mr Nice Guy! Not only that, the car’s fuel tank was just above half way full, I have to give the car back full another 20 leva more to pay to top up, this is about three hours tuition work as an equivalent, no one cares about my predicament, others come first, bugger the poor mug with emotional drawbacks and minus my true love Jane.
I got home and rushed about doing the things that I should have done at 11:00 if I had a car to get back in. I rang my brother Andriko and told him to ring Jane to say she can stay at his place and to be gentle with her giving her some space. I also got my Dad to agree to loan me money for a car as I said that this will be their use for when they are over here next. It will save them hiring one. Hopefully the thought of being their car might give reason for me not to have to pay the money back. It’s not a scheming scenario but a surviving one for me.
Afterwards I rang Zlatina at the office to ask the guys to try and find me a decent Lada for about 2000 leva. On reflection, I should do it through my good neighbour Sacho, he knows everyone. I will speak with him this evening no doubt.
I spoke with Jane this evening, she is always very calm, she says it is the drugs she’s on and there’s me crying my eyes out begging her to get better soon and come and back to me, but again the time is not right for Jane! How can life be so cruel as to separate us, and all the time the phone bill mounts up and up because I have to speak to Jane, I have to hear her voice.
From now on it has to be e-mails and letters will have to do although it breaks my heart to not hear Jane’s voice. She said she didn’t want copies of my diary, as she will start crying, but a letter will be a kind of diary, perhaps I will just phase it in gradually. A letter a day until my darling comes back to me. In the meantime the phone bill will be hundreds of pounds I’m sure!
I keep thinking if all fails here do I go back to England? Well that is a last resort, even though my Jane is there. How could I fail another chapter in my life, it cannot go on like this. I have to make a success here otherwise my Jane will be lost in England forever. Ironically if she were here I would have the perfect incentive to make a success of things. When will she come this is now the metal torture I go through every second of the day. It’s a damn site better than thinking she doesn’t want me or was with someone else, that’s for sure.
Last night at about 8:00 there was a power cut and I was in dark through to the morning. So no electric, no water, no indoor toilet, it was great! A night light candle in conjunction with a wood burning stove to go to sleep to. I slept very well but woke up at 5:00 never to slumber from thereon well before the alarm went of at the due time of 6:30. Routine of getting ready for work along with sorting out Anka but making sure I was well before the bus was due at the bus stop. Quite pleasant using the outside loo this morning, funny how you get used to things here very quickly, almost sorry to go back to the inside one!
After waiting a good fifteen minutes watching the sky transform into a pink glow expecting the sun to peer through any second the bus arrived. It was the same bus and driver, Sacho’s friend who we had coffee with in Yambol after the trip. It was a case of any friend of Sacho is a friend of mine. He invited, or more like insisted that I sat at the front with him, which I felt quite flattered. Not only that, he charged me 2.50 leva, another new price when I though all was settled at 3 leva, or perhaps it was because he was now a friend of mine.
There were a few brightly coloured gypsy wives, one of which sold me the turkey, running for the bus just as it was to go. They waved for him to let them on, he cursed them and drove off leaving them behind, this is how most people treat gypsies around here. Bad reputations of gypsies are justified as far as I can see to date though, they do not have respect for Bulgarians and the way many live here, so what do you expect!
I was assigned as ‘chief door opener and shutter’ as the door where the other less fortunate passengers went in was from a different sliding door. I did a grand job, which saved him from going right round the bus to do it himself. At least I could earn the 50 stotinki discount he gave me. As we travelled the sun just bubbled above the horizon just like a birth and rose slowly to its full glory some 10 minutes later. This was a wonderfully radiant event in which I was transfixed and totally glorified by it. A great pity Jane missed seeing it with me.
We got to town and did the business with Ethan earning my daily bread, Heather his mother offered for me to use the shower if I wanted to, I might just do that seeing as I haven’t had an opportunity for weeks! In fact I have only had one shower and two baths since living here for one or another reason, quite ridicules to western ideals but I am clean, smell sweet and relatively pristine in terms of presentation. Just shows what you don’t actually need, just want most of the time. I can see why many or most Bulgarians never have a shower throughout the winter and wait for the warm weather and the water filled oil canister to shower on them by gravity fall, warmed by the sun at the end of all the summer houses.
After getting back to Phil’s office to see Heather who wasn’t there, Sue the Australian turned up to get her new ‘tank’ of a car. I popped out to the bank to scrape out the last bits of my saving and put the 6000 leva on the table next to her handbag for her to collect and sat and waited in Phil’s office. I was meant to give her 5900 leva and 500 leva from the scrapping of here car, but I was in a depressed mood and didn’t really care what I was doing, no one seems to have any sympathy for what I have gone through and am going through, but then why should anyone? I’m a depressive pain in the arse to them as far as they are concerned. I am in Bulgaria and it is Bulgarian life I want.
I don’t expect or want anyone to bale me out, but it would be nice and comforting for someone to say, “We’re really sorry about what happened Martin, is there anything we can do?”
And of course I would say, “Thank you very much, but no, I’ll manage.”
This is all I wanted but it didn’t happen and I feel more than bitter about it. Quite frankly I don’t really want to do any more socialising with these people anyway, I only socialised because they wanted me to, not because I wanted to. Sue and Phil came in and Sue put the money in her bag and asked if I had anything left in my Bank account. I said, “Just enough for a flight back to England.”
She said, “You are not serious are you?”
I snapped back by saying, “I’m waiting for Jane to get here. I will wait as long it takes for her because I love her so much.”
To that, they both didn’t say and comment any further and just went on to do other things. I asked, "What should I do about the hire car as Sue picking her new car up today?"
The answer was, “Do you want to come with me, it should take about 2 hours to sort out.”
Bugger that I thought, I’m not following her around like an idiot as is what usually happens, I’ll do my own thing and the mobile will be used if things are ready.
The morning just got worse, Sue went to get the car and I was left like a bloody lemon waiting over four hours with nowhere to go or nothing to do but wait for other people.
Over and hour was spent in an internet café sending stuff to Jane, my daughter Hannah and Nathan, the cup of coffee was good though. Then out on the streets for another two hours watching life go by in Yambol on a warm sunny afternoon, people eating, drinking and of course talking mostly, outside in the heat.
I finally got the car I hired to Sue at about 2:45! I was bloody livid, is that all anyone thinks I do, wait for others? That’s it, no more Mr Nice Guy! Not only that, the car’s fuel tank was just above half way full, I have to give the car back full another 20 leva more to pay to top up, this is about three hours tuition work as an equivalent, no one cares about my predicament, others come first, bugger the poor mug with emotional drawbacks and minus my true love Jane.
I got home and rushed about doing the things that I should have done at 11:00 if I had a car to get back in. I rang my brother Andriko and told him to ring Jane to say she can stay at his place and to be gentle with her giving her some space. I also got my Dad to agree to loan me money for a car as I said that this will be their use for when they are over here next. It will save them hiring one. Hopefully the thought of being their car might give reason for me not to have to pay the money back. It’s not a scheming scenario but a surviving one for me.
Afterwards I rang Zlatina at the office to ask the guys to try and find me a decent Lada for about 2000 leva. On reflection, I should do it through my good neighbour Sacho, he knows everyone. I will speak with him this evening no doubt.
I spoke with Jane this evening, she is always very calm, she says it is the drugs she’s on and there’s me crying my eyes out begging her to get better soon and come and back to me, but again the time is not right for Jane! How can life be so cruel as to separate us, and all the time the phone bill mounts up and up because I have to speak to Jane, I have to hear her voice.
From now on it has to be e-mails and letters will have to do although it breaks my heart to not hear Jane’s voice. She said she didn’t want copies of my diary, as she will start crying, but a letter will be a kind of diary, perhaps I will just phase it in gradually. A letter a day until my darling comes back to me. In the meantime the phone bill will be hundreds of pounds I’m sure!
I keep thinking if all fails here do I go back to England? Well that is a last resort, even though my Jane is there. How could I fail another chapter in my life, it cannot go on like this. I have to make a success here otherwise my Jane will be lost in England forever. Ironically if she were here I would have the perfect incentive to make a success of things. When will she come this is now the metal torture I go through every second of the day. It’s a damn site better than thinking she doesn’t want me or was with someone else, that’s for sure.
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